Anger

         

I had been in great spirits as of late, and I credited this with my almost daily yoga practice. 

 

I loved my studio, my class, my fellow yogis, my instructor and my mat.

I was seeing the bright side of most things, most days. It was as if an angel was riding on my shoulder.

I was on a yoga high even on Thursdays, my off day.

So imagine my surprise when my instructor told me I was holding anger in my quads.  

    

But, I’m not angry, I said, to which he replied that the anger was in my quads.

 

But, what am I angry about? I asked, to which he answered that he could not say but that it was in my quads.    
 

Well, what am I supposed to do with it? I followed up, to which he answered, Just do the poses and release it.    

 

Is that why the poses that hurt the most, especially during the early months of my practice, were always High Lunge, Low Lunge, Runner’s Lunge and Warrior III? 

 

These are all poses that engage the quad muscles.  

And I just thought my quads were burning because I had not never really exercised, and my thighs were easily and quickly fatigued.

Anger. In my quads. This was news to me. 

Just do the poses and release the energy.     

Once upon a time, someone told me that anger serves as a secondary emotion. 

It covers other emotions like hurt, confusion or sadness.   

And, if I were being honest with myself, I would have to admit that I do not always recognize when I am angry. 
So maybe my instructor was onto something and giving me instruction on something more than yoga.  

I am a single mom, divorced for many years. 

A lot led to the divorce, and more followed during and after.

If I were being honest again, I would have to admit that there likely was anger inside me. 

Maybe it was deep down, maybe I did not live in it, maybe it was indeed a secondary emotion covering up hurt, confusion and sadness.        

What yoga has given me is the tool to deal with some of this physically. 

 

Through the poses, I gain strength and release energy at the same time.

Sometimes, I am surprised at the after effects. I discovered that yoga is not just a physical practice but an emotional one, as well.

This was news to me, too.
 

So, now I have some openings in some places I thought I had closed for good, and it looks like I have to pay attention to more than just my thighs.