Validation

It's not always easy to tell the truth.

You can’t find the truth anywhere but in yourself.

These were the instructor’s words as we lay in pigeon pose the other night in yoga.

You can’t find it in a book, you can’t find it in your teacher, you can’t find it in anybody else.

I must admit his words brought me up short. If the truth is inside of me, then I want to know where exactly!

Yoga teaches that the body stores emotions and even past traumas. It has taken me a while to buy into this, but I have to admit that the practice does sometimes get emotional. So, maybe there is something to say about the truth literally residing somewhere in there.

But that would mean I’d have to believe there is actual anger in my quads, emotions in my hips and real love in my heart. If that’s so, then what’s in my arms, my belly and my back?

If the truth is inside of me, why can’t I always access it?

I can see other people’s truths so clearly. As far back as I can remember, people have come to me for perspective, clarity and advice.

Most recently, I was reacquainted with a friend who stopped mid-sentence and said, Wait! Are you someone that other people come to and tell things to? That same week, another friend stopped mid-tears to ask if I had some kind of background in psychology (I don’t).

And at work, I have a chair in my office across from my desk that gets a lot of traffic. It’s called the trouble seat and is used by others who come in to unload and ask for advice. I knew you’d have the answer! one such visitor said.

How is it that I can so easily see someone else’s truth but not always my own?

Yoga ties the physical with the emotional by teaching about the Chakras, or energy centers, located along the spine. There are seven, and they spin in a wheel-like fashion if all is going well spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Supposedly, emotions can block the Chakras, and it’s the yoga poses, or asanas, that unblock them and get the energy flowing once more.

The Chakras are lined up like this:

 

·         The first Chakra, the Root Chakra, is located at the base of the spine and is tied to our most innate emotions like survival.

·         The second Chakra is the Sacral Chakra and is located under the belly button. It is tied to our desires for pleasure and well being.

·         The third Chakra is the Solar Plexus Charkra. It is located above the stomach and has to do with self esteem.

·         The fourth one is the Heart Chakra and is, of course, located at the center of the chest and is all about love.

·         The fifth is the Throat Chakra. It’s at the throat and is tied to communication and the truth.

·         The sixth Chakra is the Third Eye, located at the center of the forehead. It has to do with intuition.

·         The seventh Chakra, the Crown Chakra, is located at the top of the head and is connected to our spirituality.

If this is to be believed, then there is certainly a lot more going on in our bodies than just organs working and blood flowing.

But even with knowing all this, I still don’t know how “X” marks the spot when it comes to locating my truth. Mostly, I think I am pretty solid, but I know I can sometimes be thrown for a loop, by others or even myself.

Before yoga, I was so much more of a closed person. I don’t know how the practice opened me up, but somehow it did.

Perhaps the poses really did get my wheels spinning.

And maybe, when I look to others or others look to me, we are really just on a quest for validation of what we already know to be true. Maybe good advice really is just helping each other see inside to the truth that’s already there.

If this is so, then I get it when the instructor says that no one has anyone else’s answers.

The search for mine happens mostly on my mat, and I don’t think it’s ending anytime soon.

Carl Jung

Yoga can either improve your mood, or “let loose a flood of sufferings of which no sane person ever dreamed.”

This, according to The Washington Post, is what psychiatrist Carl Jung thought about yoga.

I look at my yoga as a workout. It keeps me in shape.

In fact, I only started yoga because a studio opened nearby, and I lost my last excuse to not work out.

Yoga worked fast on my body. I got very tone, very quickly. In a few short months, I saw muscles in my arms, legs and torso for the first time. I even saw a picture of myself in a Handstand and realized I had muscles in my back.

I went for a medical visit only to have the doctor exclaim about my lack of body fat. All thanks to yoga.

Plus, I was on a yoga high for so long. Every day was a good day, and I saw the positive side of everything.

Indeed, Carl Jung was right. Yoga improved my mood.

When the instructor said that hip openers, like Pigeon pose, released emotions, I sort of doubted that. To me, Pigeon pose was just a position where we lay prone on our mats with one leg bent and tucked up underneath us. Not too comfortable but a good stretch after a long workout.

I also sort of doubted when the instructor told me that my quads hold anger. What did I have to be angry about? Life was good. I felt good. Yoga was good.

So, I would say that, for a good while, I was in agreement with Jung’s first thought: That yoga improves your mood.

Yoga opened up something in me. Little by little, over a long stretch, the classes sort of melted me, and I felt like I was doing some long overdue healing. I felt strong and spirited for the first time in a long time.

But then something strange happened. All sorts of things came up for me. And I doubted myself greatly because the difficult feelings that started bubbling up did not seem to mesh with my newfound self and my newfound outlook.

The instructor also told me that Backbends were heart openers. I sort of doubted that, too. I was just proud to finally accomplish the pose.

I was told Dancer, a standing Backbend, was a heart opener, as well. Boy, I hated those heart openers, and Dancer was the worst!

The more I excelled at the poses, the more so many emotions emerged. And this caught me off guard.

Suddenly, it seemed that what I had put behind me was right in front of me. Old wounds and the like were new again. So much of the the changing I thought I had done over so many years was brought back into question – by me!

I was surprised to find myself in great shape on the outside but not so much on the inside. And, apparently, the inside does not whip into shape as quickly as the outside.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do, which was to persevere through the poses and even through what they seemed to bring forth.

And on some days, it seemed like Carl Jung must have met me when he said that yoga can let loose a flood of sufferings of which no sane person ever dreamed.

On those days, I had wanted to quit.

Instead, I stayed in it and am glad for it. And, finally, my insides have seemingly whipped into better shape, aligning more with my outsides.

As Carl Jung suggested, the impact of the practice is pretty profound. 

Luckily, for me, it has served as teacher and healer in one.

Anne is the author of  Unfold Your Mat, Unfold Yourself​ and is published on Huffington Post and Elephant Journal. Connect with Anne on her blog, Facebook and Twitter.​​